Mommy Shaming

I am sick of the constant mommy shaming. It is absolutely everywhere. Facebook and mommy websites. At the grocery store, doctor’s office, Starbucks and even at the park. I’m seriously fed up.

I don’t care if you had a c-section, an epidural, if TLC came and filmed the whole process, or if you had your baby in the bathtub while chanting with 25 of your spiritual sisters watching. It’s not my business. You did what worked best for you. I had an epidural. Why? Because I wanted to, that’s why. And it doesn’t make me any less of a mother or a woman for doing so. And to anyone who thinks that having a c-section is the ‘easy’ way to get the baby out. Let me ask you this: Is getting out of a car with the jaws of life the easy way out?

You know what else I don’t give a shit about? How you feed your baby. I don’t care if you exclusively breast feed, exclusively formula feed or do/did a combination of the two. I did a combination and then breastfeeding was no longer working for me. And it’s really no one’s business why. When I was out and about, the amount of dirty looks I got from other mothers when I was feeding my daughter out of a bottle was absolutely ridiculous. These women did not know me, my situation or the amount of effort I put into breastfeeding.  Guess what?  My baby is being fed. She is cared for and she is loved. That’s all that matters.  And I am not putting up with the mommy-shaming anymore. I will be calling people out for it. How I feed my child is my business. How you feed your child is your business. I don’t care if you whip out your boob or whip out a bottle. Just feed your baby so he/she can grow.

And while I’m ranting, let me rant about family structure. It doesn’t matter if your family has a mom and a dad, two moms, two dads or has just one parent. Because one is better than none. Two loving moms or two loving dads are better than no love at all. And if you have a traditional family, that’s wonderful too. Also, your children are not any less yours if they are step-children, foster children or adopted children. And how you conceive your children is your business. It doesn’t matter if you had fertility treatments, in vitro fertilization, needed a surrogate or if you got pregnant through a one night stand. All that matters is that you care for the life you created.

And can we just stop with the ‘who lost the baby weight the fastest’ contests? I really don’t care if you lost your baby weight in 2 weeks, 2 months or never lost it at all. I hardly lost any of mine. I’m still beautiful. And so are you. We are not defined by our weight. We are defined by being decent and kind human beings. So please be decent and kind and realize that every woman has a unique and fabulous body!

Oh, and the whole working-mom versus stay-at-home mom bullshit needs to stop. Immediately. Some working mama’s work because they enjoy their wok. Some do it because it’s financially necessary. Some do it just to get out of the house. Whatever. Their life, their business. Just like stay-at-home moms have different reasons for staying at home. Sometimes the price of childcare exceeds what might be earned at a job. Sometimes moms stay home because they want to and can afford to. Sometimes they stay home because it’s none of your GD business and they don’t need to explain it. Whatever career choice you make, please know that I support you. Leaving your babies during the day is hard, and so is staying home all day and raising children and running a household.

So, let’s make an agreement ladies. Let’s be nicer to each other. Let’s support each other, and let’s remember that we do not need approval, nor do we have to give it.  At the end of the day, we should be most focused on our children, and making sure they don’t grow up to be judgy little assholes.

End rant.

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5 thoughts on “Mommy Shaming

  1. I totally believe you are correct; now let’s convince the world. And let us move it into more global issues…bottom line…. live your life according to the way it will not bring harm, shame, or unnecessary sadness to others.

    Like

  2. Well said! Everyone wants to be a frikkin judge, am I right?
    And while we’re at it, let’s maybe cut it out with the stay-at-home-DAD shaming as well. After all, each family’s situation and decisions are their own damn business!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tracey, any parent who stays home deserves all the credit in the world because it is not easy. My dad stayed at home with us and it was a blast. He can bake and cook better than any woman I know. And to any man who stays home to raise children I take my hat off to them for breaking the stereotypes and being there for their kids!

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