If you have a child then there is a good chance that your bladder is pretty messed up. I thought I peed a lot while I was pregnant, but little did I know that was just the beginning. I peed about 15 times a day during my last trimester. Around week 36 of my pregnancy I was super naïve and thought ‘I can’t wait for my baby to be here so I can go back to a normal pee schedule.’ Well that was stupid of me, because 15 times a day is my new normal, along with a bunch of other things that are also my new normal. Want to hear a little more about how messed up your bladder might be after pregnancy? Read below to learn the horrors!
You’ll always need to pee. I can pee on command now. For real, I can sit on the toilet at any given time during the day and pee will come out. It’s really handy for when you go to the doctor’s office and they need a urine sample. But it really sucks because sometimes you think you are done peeing and then you wipe and realize that you can actually squeeze out some more. And you repeat this process 4 times.
You can barely tolerate a glass of water. I like to stay hydrated, water is my friend. It keeps my hair and skin looking decent. When I drink a glass of water, I have a ten minute safety window. Meaning that, I can go for a ten minute car ride or quickly pick out a bottle of wine at the liquor store. After ten minutes, I’m screwed. Having the urge to pee is something I can tolerate, but feeling like my bladder is about to burst is the reaction I usually get ten minutes after drinking a glass of water. After twenty minutes it starts to hurt and if I haven’t gotten to relieve myself by the thirty minute mark, I’m in crisis mode. I have it on good authority that the ten minute safety window gets smaller as you get older. I’m really looking forward to reaching the five minute safety window…or not.
Sneezing and coughing are terrifying public acts. If I have to sneeze or cough in public, I get really freaked out. Basically, I do everything in my power to hold in a sneeze or suppress my cough. Sometimes though, the urge to sneeze or cough will not go away. I try to do it in such a delicate manner, to make it happen as softly as possible. Then I quickly find the nearest public bathroom and check to see if I leaked. And for real, sometimes I do. Embarrassing? Not as much as I would have thought. I think I’ve gotten used to minor leaks, which is even more disturbing than the leaks themselves.
Exercise produces both sweat and pee. You know after a good workout when you’re all sweaty and you go to grab a shower? You start to undress and your workout clothes are sticking to you because of the sweat? Well post-baby, you have no idea if it’s sweat or pee. You start to question your workout. ‘How many jumping jacks did I do?’.. ‘Should I start modifying those burpees?’.. ‘Maybe I should stop exercising and take up drinking wine instead?’ Actually wait, wine is not going to help with your bladder problems either. You just can’t win!
I’m sure that not every mother has experienced all of these problems, but I am willing to bet every mother has experienced at least one of these problems. I don’t think my bladder will ever go back to normal; whatever that is! But in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not that bad. I’m actually pretty used to it. Now please excuse me while I go drink a glass of wine water and then promptly pee it out 10 minutes later!