The world of dating can be complicated. There are so many unwritten rules about phone calls and texting and the appropriate amount of time to wait before the next date. I foolishly used to somewhat follow these rules. “Oh I can’t text him because our date was yesterday. I need to wait at least two more days.” I now see how ridiculous this logic is and wish I could see its silliness back then.
I’m at a point in my life where I would like to start dating again soon. And the only ‘rules’ I will be following will be my own set of rules. I’m not exactly sure if there are any unwritten rules for dating a single mom, but here are some points I need to establish:
My time is valuable. Time with you means time away from my child. I work full time, so time with my daughter is already extremely precious. I’m all about taking time for myself and I don’t mind taking some time to develop a new relationship. But please, respect my time. I don’t mind if you occasionally cancel plans because I realize that life happens, but if it becomes a regular occurrence then I’ll probably cut you off.
You don’t need to impress me. Romantic dinners and weekend getaways are great, but I’m equally as happy to go for a drive or a walk in the park. I’ve never been impressed by materialistic things. I don’t care what kind of car you drive or what brand of clothing you wear. You know what impresses me the most when looking at the opposite sex? Men who are sensible and mature adults. Men who work hard to make an honest living. Men that treat other people with respect. Men who step up and take care of their responsibilities. Anything above and beyond that is a total bonus and not a requirement.
I know what’s best for my daughter. I know the right way to raise her and I know what she does and does not need. I don’t mind parenting advice if I ask for it, but please don’t assume that I want it or need it. If you have children of your own, that’s fantastic. I’m all about swapping ideas on parenting and sharing tips. But it doesn’t mean that you have permission to try to point out all of the things I am doing wrong. Also, I’ll decide when it’s time for you and her to meet. It might take a long time before I’m comfortable doing that, so please be patient.
Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken. I had a relationship that didn’t work out. Lots of people go through this. The only difference is; is that I got the best gift ever out of mine. My heart is not broken or in need of mending. You don’t need to try and fix me. Because everything that ever went wrong was fixed the second I laid eyes on my daughter. She mended my heart and healed my soul in ways that no one else ever could.
My daughter will always be my first priority. If my child is sick, upset, sad or just wants her mommy, then I am going to be there for her. If she is having a bad day or needs a hug or wants some one-on-one time, she’s going to get it. I will try my best to make sure that I don’t cancel last minute or change plans with little notice, but there will be times when that is unavoidable. She is a part of me and will always be my number one priority. If someone can’t understand or accept this then they don’t belong in my life anyway.
If you read all of the above and still think that dating me (or any other single mom) is worthwhile, then jump in. I’m great at prioritizing, juggling, coming up with creative solutions and thinking outside of the box. Having a child makes me silly, fun and easy-going. I know that it’s going to be tough at times but I promise that you will also have a lot of fun. My daughter and I are full of life and energy and can turn your world upside down in the best way possible.