There is no such thing as being a perfect mother. All of us screw up or make mistakes, and I have no problem admitting that I make lots of them.
I also will admit that sometimes, I do things that aren’t exactly worthy of a mother-of-the-year award. With that being said, I have some confessions to make. I want to make them because I noticed that a lot of mothers feel like they need to be perfect. It’s a high expectation to live up to and you’ll almost always let yourself down. So, here are some of my least-graceful motherhood moments:
I sometimes pretend to work late but then go to the mall and buy myself something nice.
When my daughter does the same annoying thing over and over I flip her off when she isn’t looking.
Every now and then I pretend to be constipated and then push the clothes hamper up against the door so my daughter can’t barge into the washroom while I cruise Facebook and Pinterest.
Once I went to work and found a goldfish cracker that my daughter dropped in my bra…and I ate it.
Sometimes I am so tired at night that I don’t take off my makeup. When I wake up the next morning I fix up the smudges with a q-tip and wear it again.
When I am tired and my daughter brings me a book to read to her, I usually just read the first page and the last page and throw in a random sentence off the top of my head for the middle. She’s too little to know the difference and I dread the day when she does.
I sometimes still wear maternity clothes even though I gave birth over a year ago.
After I gave birth I had to register my daughter’s name for her birth certificate and health card. I could not remember if I spelled her middle name as Elizabeth or Elisabeth. The only way I found out for sure was when the health card came in (turns out I spelled it Elizabeth).
I regularly tell people my daughters’ birthday is August 11th, which was my due date. I had her on August 12th.
I seriously wish that parenting came with a manual or instruction guide. More often than not I am baffled and use logic and the process of elimination to solve problems.
Some mornings before I head out for work, my daughter will take a huge crap in her diaper. I pretend not to notice it and leave anyway and know that either my mom or dad will change her.
Sometimes on rainy days I take my daughter to Walmart and let her run around the store just to burn off some energy so she’ll sleep well at night.
There have been times where I have been so tired that I have forgotten words or phrases. I called my eyelids eye covers and called my lip gloss wet lipstick. My brain does not function well with only three hours of sleep.
When my daughter wakes up really early and is full of energy but I am still tired, I give her my phone and let her watch YouTube so I can take a 5 minute power nap.
I once leaked breastmilk on a bra I was trying on at Target. I ended up buying the bra even though it didn’t fit me.
There have been times when I would pretend to run an errand and got my parents to babysit, but instead of doing said errand I would go to Tim Hortons and get an iced cap and drive around in my car for an hour.
I hid my daughter’s toy remote because the music it makes is so annoying and whenever she sees it she MUST push the music button.
A few evenings a week I will have a glass of wine. I don’t usually tell people exactly how big the glass is and how much wine it can hold.
I sometimes let my daughter sleep in the clothes she wore that day if they aren’t too dirty and she is too tired and cranky to get changed.
I will also confess that I regularly watch my daughter sleep and usually cry as I do it because I can’t believe that such a perfect little baby belongs to me. Despite all of these confessions, I’ve learned a lot about parenting. It can be really tough but it’s also extremely rewarding. I know that I am definitely NOT a perfect mother and I am sure I will make lots of mistakes as Charlotte and I continue to grow. I love being a mom and even though there are days when all I want to do is take a shower without an audience or just drive around in my car with an iced cap, I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. I know there will be a time in the future when I look back and miss these moments. These funny, frustrating, messy, exhausting and beautiful moments are what it’s all about.