The Mom Uniform

Monday to Friday, 9am till 5pm, I wear work appropriate clothing. I wear dresses, skirts, blazers, dress pants, high heels and makeup. I don’t mind doing it. In fact, there are some days when I am glad that I have a reason to wear a bra. But come the weekend, shit gets real. My hair is usually in a ponytail, my makeup routine becomes non-existent and I wear my ‘mom uniform.’

What is the mom uniform, you ask? Well it’s really quite simple. It’s a pair of yoga pants or tights, topped with a tank top or t-shirt or tunic, and a loose, comfy cardigan on top to complete the look. The cardigan makes it look less sloppy and more socially acceptable. Footwear usually consists of sneakers, flats or flip-flops.

Before I became a mom, I used to judge other mothers who wore the mom uniform and think to myself, “What is wrong with you? Why can’t you put in a little effort? Would it kill you to put on a pair of jeans and a cute top? God these moms are lazy. They can’t even manage to brush their hair.”  Totally bitchy of me, right? Little did I know that the effort just isn’t worth it some days. So, why do moms wear the mom uniform? Here’s why:

Because it’s comfy.

Because pajama pants really are socially unacceptable in public.

Because the clothes are old and we don’t care if there’s spit-up, breastmilk, puke, piss or shit on them.

Because after dressing our children our only goal is to not go to the store naked.

Because jeans aren’t flattering when you still haven’t lost all your baby weight.

Because tights come in fun colors and prints.

Because yoga pants make our asses look good.

Because the maternity panel in my jeans in noticeable when I bend over.

Because we are dressed for a workout if we choose to do so (haha).

Because chasing a toddler all over a department story REALLY IS a workout!

Because tights hide my muffin top.

Because we’re bloated and on our period and the stretch waist feels nice.

Because we’re also bloated from eating a bagel with cream cheese, a coffee, animal crackers and a handful of dry cheerios for breakfast.

Because the loose and comfy cardigan can double up as a spare receiving blanket.

Because my feet are sore from wearing heels to work all week and flip-flops feel AH-MAZ-ING.

Because ponytails hide the fact that we forgot to wash our hair that morning.

Because we don’t get enough sleep and trying to figure out an outfit is precious time we could be using to get some extra shut-eye.

Because we are dressed appropriately to get down and play in the dirt when we take our kids to the park.

Because our clothing can double up as pajamas.

Because we’d look ridiculous going to playgroup in high heels and a dress.

Because we don’t give a shit if you don’t like what we are wearing. We are comfy and realize that most trips to the store are not worthy of dressing up like we’re attending a red carpet event. We don’t care if someone else has perfect makeup, hair, nails, clothes and looks like a million dollars. We only have two tasks to achieve: get items we need and don’t let the kids destroy anything or anyone.

Not all moms wear the mom uniform. But don’t judge those who do, we have lots of good reasons and even if you think the reasons suck, it doesn’t matter to us because we’re too busy trying to figure out if our tank tops are stained with chocolate or poop!

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2 thoughts on “The Mom Uniform

  1. Hey you take it a step farther than me! It’s yoga pants or workout capris with either a tank top or a tunic top depending on weather. And the hair? I rock one of those super easy twist buns that takes me all of 5 seconds to do. And shoes must be comfy too. And what’s weekend makeup? I’ve never heard of that!! Lol

    Like

  2. Um yes, yes, yes…and yes. lol
    I probably take it a step farther than you because I have no reason to dress up for work either, being a tradesperson and all. So I’m pretty much in my mom uniform 24-7. XD

    Like

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