12 days of Christmas (mommy version)

Santa Claus with Wine Bottle On Tray
4 more bottles, please.

 

On the first day of Christmas Santa gave to me
A completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the second day of Christmas Santa gave to me
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the third day of Christmas Santa gave to me
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the fourth day of Christmas Santa gave to me
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the fifth day of Christmas Santa gave to me
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the sixth day of Christmas Santa gave to me
6 hours of babysitting
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the seventh day of Christmas Santa gave to me
7 luxurious bubble baths
6 hours of babysitting
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the eighth day of Christmas Santa gave to me
8 full hours of sleep
7 luxurious bubble baths
6 hours of babysitting
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the ninth day of Christmas Santa gave to me
9 pounds of chocolate
8 full hours of sleep
7 luxurious bubble baths
6 hours of babysitting
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the tenth day of Christmas Santa gave to me
10 cappuccinos
9 pounds of chocolate
8 full hours of sleep
7 luxurious bubble baths
6 hours of babysitting
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the eleventh day of Christmas Santa gave to me
11 solo trips to the bathroom
10 cappuccinos
9 pounds of chocolate
8 full hours of sleep
7 luxurious bubble baths
6 hours of babysitting
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

On the twelfth day of Christmas Santa gave to me
12 free months of Netflix
11 solo trips to the bathroom
10 cappuccinos
9 pounds of chocolate
8 full hours of sleep
7 luxurious bubble baths
6 hours of babysitting
5 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!
4 Starbucks gift cards
3 bottles of Advil
2 clean bathrooms
And a completely cooked and stuffed turkey.

…a girl can dream, right?
P.S – I promise I have been good this year, Santa….sort of!

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