Dear Canada Revenue Agency,
Hi. It’s me, Katie. I know that we have a pretty good relationship. You always give me what you owe and I always give what I owe. I like that about us. We keep it simple and uncomplicated. But CRA, I am mad at you. And it all has to do with cupcakes and diapers.
As you know, I am a mother. Actually, a single mother. I know you already know this though, since you made me prove it at tax time last year. But I’m over that. That’s not really why I’m mad. My anger is about something else, specifically; cupcakes.
As a single mom, my life is hectic. Sometimes even stressful. And when the stress becomes too much, I typically like to treat myself. My treats generally involve booze and food.
A few days ago I decided to buy myself a gourmet cupcake. I work hard and I deserve a treat now and then. I chose the salted caramel cupcake because it looked absolutely delicious. I forgot to take a picture but here’s basically what it looked like:
Jealous? Well you should be because it was freaking amazing! I devoured it in less than five minutes. As I was polishing off my cupcake with a glass of wine, I looked at the receipt and I could not believe my eyes. There was NO TAX on the cupcake. WTF! Here’s my receipt for proof:
Now look CRA, I understand that tax rules are not always black and white. There are some grey areas. I get that it was a single serve portion and some could even argue that it is a meal. Whatever. It isn’t but that’s not what I want to argue about. What pisses me off in all of this is that a cupcake wasn’t taxable but diapers, wipes and car seats are. For anyone that may doubt that, here are some screenshots of Walmart Canada’s online checkout for diapers, wipes and car seats. Notice the tax? Yeah, me too.
How is this fair? How is it that the basic essentials for my child (diapers and wipes) have tax but a cupcake doesn’t? How is it fair that something that I am LEGALLY required to own and something that is imperative to child safety has tax? CRA, I hate to be the one to say it, but you fucked up on this.
I understand that groceries are a basic need. People need food to survive and I am totally okay with basic items not having tax. In fact, I am glad that I don’t have to pay tax on things like milk, produce, meat, bread and canned goods. But a cupcake should be taxable. I don’t care if it’s a single portion or not. I would happily pay tax on a cupcake if it meant that I didn’t have to pay tax on diapers, wipes, car seats and other baby related necessities. And I am willing to bet that most Canadian parents would agree with that statement.
So please, get your shit together. Figure this stuff out. I don’t like being mad at you. When I was mad at you last year it took me a few months to get over it and I really don’t want to go down that road again, okay?
Just to clarify and make this simple for you, I’ll break it down. Please revise taxes so that it reflects the following :
CUPCAKES : TAXABLE
DIAPERS: NON- TAXABLE
CAR SEATS: NON- TAXABLE
Please look into this. It’s very important to parents everywhere. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me. I’d leave you my contact information but we both know you already have it.