Motherhood is full of moments. There are funny moments, sad moments, happy moments, lonely moments, messy moments and every other kid of moment you can imagine. In fact, when it comes to motherhood, I don’t remember days. I remember moments.
I remember when my daughter was born, and how I could not take my eyes off of her. I remember being so in love and in awe that I simply could not sleep. I wanted to savour every newborn moment that I could take in.
I remember those first few weeks. Being so overwhelmed and exhausted. I sat in the bathtub and cried because I had no idea what I was doing and wondered how I was going to keep moving forward.
I remember the first time my daughter smiled at me. I needed her smile more than anything that day. And when she smiled, my world stopped and my heart nearly exploded with happiness. It was a small victory but one that I savoured for a very long time.
I remember the first time my daughter ran a fever. I hardly slept that night. I was worried and unsure of what was causing it. I held her in my arms and let her know that I would always be there for her, no matter what she was going through.
I remember the day my daughter said my name. She was just shy of six months old and said “mama” loud and clear. I cried tears of happiness as she smiled a toothless little grin and repeated my name another 20 times.
I remember going back to work. And being so worried and scared that my daughter would forget I was her mother. The first day when I got home she smiled at me and cuddled with me all evening. I was sad because I knew she missed me but happy to be able to provide for her.
I remember when she took her first steps. Tiny little wobbly steps at exactly nine months old. She fell lots and wasn’t very steady on her feet, but she blew me away with her determination.
I remember waking my daughter up from a nap one day. She was groggy and could hardly hold her head up. Something was very wrong. We were airlifted to a children’s hospital. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. I remember feeling so much relief and gratitude when we got discharged and I was told that my daughter would be okay.
I remember the first time she really noticed birds in the sky. And how her little face was filled with wonder and excitement as she pointed at them. Seeing the joy on her face brought me so much happiness. Seeing things through her eyes is so special.
I remember her first birthday. And being filled with happiness, sadness and so many bittersweet feelings. I was happy that my baby was growing and sad that time was going too fast.
I remember the first time my daughter threw a temper tantrum. I had no idea that someone so small could scream so loudly and protest so intensely. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do, and to be honest, I still don’t know most of the time.
I remember when my daughter learned how to jump. The pride on her face was so adorable and when I clapped for her, she laughed a big belly laugh. It was so sweet and precious and months later, it still makes me smile when she does it.
I remember lying next to her in bed. Singing her songs and reading her stories. I remember the first time I asked her for a kiss and a hug and how she leaned in and wrapped her little arms around my neck. I remember how she’s fallen asleep in my arms and how I was so filled with love as I laid her down for the night. I remember countless nights, just staring at her, with tears in my eyes, thanking God for giving her to me.
These moments, they are so raw and so real. There are so many highs and lows when it comes to motherhood. It allows you to experience every emotion that could possibly exist.
I know that decades from now, I won’t look back on things and remember January 14th, March 22nd, August 29th or October 11th. I’ll never be able to tell you exactly what happened on those specific days. But what I will be able to tell you about are the moments. The beautiful, crazy, silly, frustrating, overwhelming, sad, lonely, joyous, happy and loving moments. No matter what kind of day you are having, no matter what kind of moment you are having; cherish it. Because one day, you’ll look back on all of those moments and wish for them. These are the years, these are the times. Treasure them and savour them. Because time has this funny habit of going really slow and fast all at once. So enjoy your moments. Now and always ❤