Being a Single Mom on Mother’s Day

motherhood is a choice

For many moms, Mother’s Day is a day they look forward to all year long. It’s a day that is filled with lavish presents, breakfast in bed, a husband and kids doting on them and a fancy dinner out at a restaurant. If she’s lucky she might even get some “me time” and get to go to a spa or take a nap or do something that she doesn’t always get the chance to do.

I truly hope that every mom gets treated this well on Mother’s Day. However, I know that this isn’t always the case and it especially isn’t the case for single moms. Most single moms spend mother’s day the way they spend any other day with their children. And if they are lucky, their kids are old enough to make them a card and give them some extra special love and attention. However, if your kids are young (like my daughter, who is not quite 2!) then you need to give yourself a good mother’s day by acknowledging some things.

You are strong. It takes an incredible amount of strength and courage to face motherhood alone. There may be days where you don’t feel strong, but trust me; you are. You do so much for your children and are always putting their needs ahead of yours. You go on very little sleep and always give more when you feel like you have nothing left. Sometimes we don’t know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.

You are fierce. Remember when someone told you that you couldn’t do something? And you proved them wrong? Well you are doing that every single day. You are telling society “Yes I can.” Yes you can be a successful single parent who works hard and loves her children and can and will continue to do it on your own. And it doesn’t make you any less fierce if you need help. In fact, it makes you more fierce for recognizing it and doing something about it.

You are a rockstar. Because seriously; who else can go on 3 hours of sleep, work all day, make supper, do dishes, entertain kids, help with homework, do laundry, clean an entire house and keep their sanity while doing it completely on their own? Single moms, that’s who.

You are determined. You wake up every day and focus on two things; being a good mom and making sure your kids are happy. And you do whatever it takes to accomplish that. Maybe for you it means sacrificing sleep or going without things for yourself. Maybe it means you work a second job or are a student who is trying to better your future. Whatever your sacrifices are, we both know that you are doing them with determination in your heart. Because you want the best for you and your kids and will not let anyone or anything stand in your way.

You are a fighter. There are days when it all feels like too much. Days when you want to lock yourself in the bathroom and cry. There are days when you don’t want to get out of bed and days when you wonder “how am I supposed to keep going”. But you always keep going. You always keep pushing and you always get through. It may be tough at times but your inner flame is strong and whether it’s a small spark or a well-lit candle, it’s always there. And that little flame inside of you helps you push through. Because no one is taking away that inner light.

You are amazing. Yup. You really are. Did you tell yourself that recently? Do you know that it takes an extraordinary human being to be able to do what we do? Well it does. It takes someone pretty damn awesome to navigate motherhood all by herself. If your kids are happy, healthy and loved then you are ROCKING this. That’s something worth celebrating.

Mother’s day is about so much more than gifts and breakfast in bed and cards and flowers. It’s about celebrating you and your children and the gift of motherhood. This past Mother’s Day, I just hung out with my daughter. We watched TV together, went for a drive and had some extra snuggles. I told her how lucky I was to be her mom and that there was nothing in the world that could make me as happy as she can. I counted my blessings and focused on everything we do have instead of the materialistic things that we don’t have.

My wish for every mother who is a single mom is that she can look at mother’s day and acknowledge how great of a job she is doing. That she can stop and give herself a pat on the back. Single mothers deserve all of the credit in the world for being there day in and day out and raising these tiny little humans. And if you’re unable to give yourself credit, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Because I am giving it to you until you can get there yourself.   ❤

 

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